Well done, Kyle Sandilands! I’m tickled pink to devote this column to the news that my good friend, unfairly sacked radio shock jock Kyle Sandilands, has talked affectionately enough about a politician he admires to call her by her right name, Aunty Pauline.

That’s right. For reasons your columnist and everyone else at Australia’s most popular No1 family newszine have never been able to understand, no-one else in this nation has ever recognised the full title of Aunty Pauline (pictured far, far right above and as far away from left below), national leader of the White Indigenous One Nation people, preferring the undignified nomenclature of Pauline Hanson until now.

On Nine National News on Friday, Kyle expressed his enormous affection for Aunty Pauline and her policies generally.

I regard it as racist that our mainstream media in particular have never, ever, used this amazing woman’s tribal title, and that’s clearly because they don’t want to acknowledge that Aunty Pauline’s mulletandsmallchips people, a subsection of the broader bodgieandwidgee mob to the west, have over millennia roamed the Ipswich region of south-east Queensland trading off their local seafoods from other surrounding white indigenous groups such as the bodgiesandwidgees for materials and lubras it needed.

So bravo to Kyle for doing the right thing by our nation’s proudest white indigenous person, and is it any wonder Aunty Pauline seems set to be our next prime minister?

Finally, I’m chuffed that my spies in the nation’s political arena have heard that Aunty Pauline has been so moved by Kyle’s respect for her status that she is now looking for a suitable lower-house seat for him to stand in at the 2028 federal poll and that when he wins that easily, he’ll be her communications minister.

I’m really pleased that Kyle’s future has been secured, considering he would have been struggling financially over the years ahead, given the shameful and paltry $12.9 million ARN Media will be paying him over a couple of years as settlement for a wrongful dismissal claim. And a pathetic $1.5 million for any advertising with the radio network for any new venture.

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