Hint: He’s also a bit of a dickhead.

That wasn’t too hard, was it? Perhaps our heading should have been Name the village idiot who calls himself Richard Marles!

So, for this second look at our Xcrements-of-the-Week, let’s kick off with the name-caller himself who has exercised his virtual sphincter muscles on our very own Minister for War! Here’s Senior Junior, who at least has made up his mind on Marles if not his status in life.

Using their own descriptions of Marles, whom we suspect plays with his model Virginia-class nuclear submarine in his bath each night, calling out “Dive! Dive! Dive” every now and then; well unless Virginia-class nuclear submarine is his pet name for his dick, were these bowel blasters from Anne Marinelli, in conversation with a sadly cut short Michael Pascoe, John Urane and a general overview of AUKUS from Peter Fox.

And although this flurry of virtual faecal flak from Eagle Sam was not about Dickhead Marles per say, it was sparked by Sunday’s discussion on ABC’s Insiders when the cons and cons of AUKUS were outlined by Greens Senator David Shoebridge.

Eagle Sam clearly wants to see Speers’ career well and truly sunk so there’s a strong link, our XOTW compilers thought.

Let’s head OS again and did all you BUGgers out there run out of tissues this morning. Let’s clarify that. Ran out of tissues feeling enormous empathy and with eyes awash with tears listening to the senior Israeli minister on the news wailing about all her citizens being forced to hunker-bunker down and fear dreadfully for their lives and those of their children because Iran was firing missiles in Israel’s direction. The poor pets. The dearhearts. Let’s hope everyone survived this unspeakable terror inflicted by those towel-headed heathen animals.

Here are Rome, Peter Murphy, InfoGram and Ethan Levins with poopoints of their own that suggest they stayed very dry-eyed this morning.

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