The Nine Network’s promotion over recent weeks for its Shark! series that began last Sunday was laden with deceptive and misleading claims that have sparked the interest of the federal watchdog on ethical behaviour and standards in the nation’s electronic media.

It is with a heavy heart as I have many good friends across that sector that I can now reveal that my thorough investigation has shown that Shark! did not make its “celebrity” contestants go skindiving with a dozen or more tiger shark in the first episode, as clearly suggested in the endless barrage of promos over recent weeks.

I’m no shark species expert orwhich ones are man-eaters but something didn’t sound right so I sent images of the sharks from those promos to three different AI platforms and all confirmed that the sharks shown were harmless white tipped and black-tipped reef sharks. One AI result reported: “Not one of those participants with half a brain would have gone into the water if they thought such savage predators as the notorious tiger shark were among them, except for Scott Cam of course who joined the series after episode one

An insider at Nine Entertainment Co. has confirmed that all the sharks shown in the promos with the “stars” uncaged and totally at their mercy were very, very, well fed which explains their size well above normal for such reef sharks and as an extra safety measure all of their teeth had been removed and replaced with rubber ones well before filming started.

I’m also told that The Australian Communications and Media Authority, the independent Commonwealth statutory authority that oversees ethical behaviour, standards and content rules in Australian electronic media, were as sceptical as I was and it has already begun its investigations into whether Nine’s promos for Shark! wilfully misled viewers by grossly exaggerating the dangers the “celebrity” cast faced to boost viewer numbers for selfish financial gain.

My spies at ACMA say the bullshit bells rang at ACMA after the premiere showed the “celebrities” were safe in steel cages as they were circled by bull sharks, the crazy pit-bulls of the ocean. In future episodes they will be shown safely caged with tiger sharks – presumably! – circling them.

I hear that the authority will go at the Nine Network like a great white at a grey seal or indeed a tiger shark at a Whitsundays holiday maker or a bull shark in a Gold Coast canal estate or a hungry seagull at a hot chip on a nearby beach. Nine deserves whatever is coming their way.

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