The column that has fun with the smaller mistakes and missteps of Australia’s mainstream mediocre; that pays homage to those sweet little fishes that individually don’t amount to a full meal but collectively can cause a tummy upset over the overall state of the once great and noble craft of journalism in this country.

Would any of you BUGgers out there really describe “prick” as a serious swear word that all members of a decent society should avoid using at all costs?

It would hardly register on the method used to rate the severity of profanity around the globe – the universally accepted cunt scale – would it?

Prick would barely register 0.2 on the cunt scale, much the same measure as dickhead, cockup, tool, nob and bellend.

But it’s true that early this morning, the washed-up, has-been-or-possibly-never-were hacks who compile this column were forced to add extra Bundy rum to their cereal in The Bug’s breakfast nook as they watched that lovely young lady presenter on ABC News Breakfast instinctively protect our collective innocence by refusing to use the word …. and a warning now for our younger readers who might want to turn away …. prick!

We all know that Emma Rebellato is a very good journo and she just oozes nicety on screen but, really, censoring the word prick is so un-21st Century. Perhaps she was simply obeying current Australian Broadcasting Corporation directives on uttering such words at any time of the day so maybe this next bit should be directed at the national broadcaster’s heirarchy.

Does anyone in power and influence there think that ABC News Breakfast is watched by any young people whose sensitive ears would have been offended if Emma had uttered the word prick?

Prick. Prick. Prick… Prick …. PRICK!

By not calling a prick a prick, Emma let our imaginations run wild and our researchers, some of whom can make a bullocky blush, were entitled to wonder if Opposition Leader An…s Taylor had been forced to withdraw because his interjection had used some word right up there on the cunt scale?

And even if An…s Taylor had used that word at the very top of that scale, The Bug looks forward to the day that the word cunt is used accurately and professionally in newsrooms across the nation at any time of the day or night.

Cunt. Cunt. Cunt…Cunt…CUNT!

And dear, sweet, Emma, until that time comes, there’s nothing wrong with calling Albanese a prick. He at least has one of those.

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