… and rightly so most times!

There might be fewer days left in the month than the fingers on a chaffcutter’s hand but the judges of our most infamous media award, The Bug‘s Media Glass House arse-licker of the month, have urged potential contenders for May dishonour to “get their entries in bloody fast”.

And why the reason for this fairly regular appeal towards the end of any month as ALOTM judging day nears?

“We noticed six days ago that entries into our prize barrel just about dried up on the spot and we knew exactly where to look for the culprit – this stink piece in The Weekend Australian‘s magazine section last weekend.

“The author, whose name we’ve yet to uncover because we haven’t been able to get our hands on a free copy to check that – apparently kicks off early with: ‘I hoped we had hit the bottom of the barrel of government stupidity during Covid, but our politicians’ shameless ineptitude and brazen lies continue to erode the nation’s foundations.’

“Look, we accept that yarn is going to take some beating and there are a number of senior executives in Holt Street, Sydney, as well as a certain really old cunt in New York who won’t need dunny paper to wipe their arses any time soon.

“But, people, you have to be in it to win it so get bum cracking. Your own excellent tongue-in-groove techniques, your honed ring-mastery skills, your cloacal cleaning abilities courtesy of a well-trained and persistent Robert Young that have you rimming with confidence, deserve to be recognised even if it’s only with a highly recommended certificate!

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