MARKETING:

A new Australia-wide promotional campaign by Coles has garnered solid support from some our nation’s most respected advertising gurus for its “honesty and bravery”.

The UP UP AND STAYING UP UP advertising blitz (above and below) across all print and electronic media platforms starts tomorrow (Saturday) until Coles “is satisfied it has made enough extra profit to cover any expected multi-million-dollar fine from its recent court loss,” said a spokesperson for Coles Australia’s CEO Mark Emup.

“Anyone who checks their Coles docket from tomorrow will see a lot of items rounded up to the next whole dollar”.

Asked if Coles feared a customer backlash to the new pricing regime, the spokesman added: “Not at all. We’re banking on the average Australian’s traditional dislike of authority and they’ll be supporting our campaign in their millions just as a “fuck you” to the Federal Court for wrongly deciding we had made false or misleading representations on 13 of 14 “Down Down” products even though our prices have always reflected rising inflation and of course covering the cost of campaigns such as DOWN AND STAYING DOWN and UP UP AND STAYING UP UP.”

The Bug approached some of Australia’s leading retail marketing gurus but they weren’t available so we talked to Russel Howcroft from the ABC program Gruen.

“I think the new campaign is brilliant, yeah?” Howcroft told us.

“While I don’t think honesty and openness should ever be central to any adverting campaign simply because consumers don’t expect that but, yeah, but you’ve got to give Coles credit for trying. I do wish them well with such openness and honesty.

“Of course the key to any successful campaign is to spend an obscene amount with agencies on any marketing campaign if you want it to be a success.

“Yeah.”

Fellow Gruen panellist Todd Sampson did not respond to our requests for an interview but one of his public relations teams did send us a nice photo of one of the t-shirts he’s currently wearing.

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