Foreign Minister Penny Wong has issued a statement critical of the actions of Israeli National Security Minister, Itamar Ben-Gvir, in abusing and taunting Australians and others activists who were part of a flotilla detained by the Israeli Defence Force after attempting to deliver aid to Gaza.

The statement is stronger than the usual positions taken by the Albanese Government on Israeli actions including the Netanyahu Government’s ongoing genocide against Palestinians in Gaza. (main picture)

The Bug has gained exclusive access to a telephone conversation between Wong and an official of the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade that preceded the release of the Minister’s statement.

DFAT OFFICIAL: Hello? Minister?

PENNY WONG: Yes, hello. What’s up?

DFAT: You’ve been briefed on the arrest of the Australian activists and Minister Ben-Gvir’s actions?

PW: Yeah, yeah.

DFAT: I sent you a statement for you to approve that we thought should be issued.

PW: Yeah, I saw it and I’m not going to go with it.

DFAT: Oh, I see. Well, Minister what do you think you should say in response?

PW: Oh, I think I’ll just issue my usual statement, you know the I-hart-etcetera one.

DFAT: I heart etcetera? You mean ‘I-heart’ like the old ‘I love New York’ slogan? But in this case ‘I love Israel’? Do you think that’s sufficient or indeed wise Minister?

PW: You’re new to your job, aren’t you?

DFAT: Yes, yes I am.

PW: I can tell. You’ll learn very quickly that I, the PM, and any other senior minister or any MP wanting to be a senior minister one day never waver. In situations like this we always issue what we all call the I-hart-etcetera statement.

DFAT: Minister, I don’t follow?

PW: It’s sort of an acronym Anthony and I have worked up – it stands for ‘Israel has a right to defend itself’.

DFAT: Oh, I see. And you say that no matter what outrageous action Israel takes?

PW: Yep. It’s worked for us so far.

DFAT: Like the blatant genocide they’ve been perpetrating on people in Gaza?

PW: Yep. I-hart-etcetera.

DFAT: And cold-blooded murders by settlers in the West Bank?

PW: Yep. I-hart-etcetera.

DFAT: Or the new killings by the IDF of innocent civilians in southern Lebanon?

PW: Yep. I-hart-etcetera them all.

DFAT: But Minister, in this instance even Prime Minister Netanyahu himself has expressed criticism of his minister.

PW: What? You mean Ben-Gvir has gone too far even for Bibi?

DFAT: Yes.

PW: Fuuuuck! Things must be crook. Why didn’t you tell me that first?

DFAT: Well, if you look at the draft statement I sent it does…

PW: Never mind. Send out that statement ASAP.

DFAT: Will do, immediately. Oh, and should we keep it on file in case you need it again to respond to some future outrageous action by the Israeli Government?

PW: That won’t be necessary.

DFAT: Yes Minister.

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