Obscure MP bids to oust Starmer

LONDON: A previously unknown British MP has declared her intention to replace UK Labour Party leader and Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer.

As calls for Sir Keir’s resignation grow, the field of likely replacements is also growing and today a new challenger, Bo Risjohnson, attempted to become the nation’s leader.

“What ho, old chaps, and chapettes!” Ms Risjohnson said to reporters she had called to Downing Street to reveal her intentions. (main picture)

“It is clear to me that the PM must go and that I should replace him. Our nation needs someone at its helm who knows how to ruin … I mean run a government and that someone is moi,” she added while declaring her intention to physically enter the PM’s official residence and take over immediately from Sir Keir.

“I am here in Dowling Street [sic]  because not only is it time our great nation had a woman as its Prime Minister, but I need to take over now – without all the fuss and nonsense of a party room ballot.

“I intend to be that first woman PM, so I am here to knock on the door of Number …. err, whatever number it is …. and take office immediately.”

At that point reporters interrupted to inform Ms Risjohnson that the UK had already seen three women serve as prime minister – Margaret Thatcher, Thersea May, and (briefly) Liz Truss.

“Err, yah yah… not too sure about Maggie, but hey ho, I take your point chaps and chapettes,” she responded.

“But they were all frightful Tories, so it’s time someone like me, a decent down to earth Labour chap … I mean slapper … I mean woman, was given a go.”

Curious reporters then asked Ms Risjohnson about her background, including the name of the seat she held in the UK Parliament since none was familiar with her.

“Oh, now steady on chaps, and chapettes,” Ms Risjohnson said. “That’s just a sexist question. I mean, seriously, would you ever dare to ask that question of a man or manette?

“My seat, which I’ve held for [indecipherable] years is [indecipherable],” she mumbled while moving rapidly to the front door of Number 10 and knocking on it loudly.

When the door remained shut despite several minutes of knocking she pointed across the street to a spot behind the reporters.

“Goodness me chaps, and chapettes! What on earth is that. Good god!” she yelled.

The media representatives then turned to look at where she was pointing, saw nothing, and turned back only to see Ms Risjohnson running away quickly and awkwardly in her high heel shoes.

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