Our Media Glass House teams don’t mind admitting that they were puzzled in a couple of ways by a full-page advertisement published recently in News Crap Australia’s metro turdbloids.

The ads (main picture) showed the process that the Murdoch media’s turdbloids, and we assume other outlets in that particular evil empire, identify, develop, and ultimately publish news stories.

A section of the ad (below) gives just a small a taste of what News Crap was asking its readers to believe is the methods used to deliver content to subscribers.

It was quite an impressive multi-stepped process News Crap Australia reporters apparently follow and included directives for writing stories such as “Start digging”, then “Check the facts” and then “Check them again”, as well as telling reporters to ask themselves “Is it fair?” and “Is it true?”

As mentioned earlier, our MGH teams were a tad puzzled by the ad. First they wondered how such extensive instructions – especially the ones that said “Is this a story that matters to our readers?”, and “Is it in the public interest? Or just noise?” – could deliver “news” stories on the online site news.com.au about a pornstars’s new look, two so-called “stars” wearing the same outfit to a lunch, and a feud between Alex Cooper and Alix Earle, whoever the fuck they are. (below)

Our researchers also found numerous seemingly obligatory “news” items about that appalling TV show Married at First Shite as well as breathless stories about some person totally unknown to our MGH teams but nevertheless apparently a “star” complaining about their sex life, as well as a WAG in a bikini on the Gold Coast which is apparently “news”, and another “news” story about some widely unknown person called Bonnie Blue to which something happened, somewhere, at some time. (below)

Our MGH teams also found riveting “news” stories about items on sale at various retail outlets which, totally coincidentally they assume, happen to be advertisers with News Crap. (below)

So, the first puzzle to trouble our MGH researchers’ minds was: If News Crap Australia follows such an extensive quality checklist to produce its stories, why are so many of them pure shit?

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The second puzzle afflicting the minds of our MGH teams after they clapped eyes on the ad trumpeting News Crap’s story development process concerned what was missing from the full-page self-promotion.

They noted some very obvious omissions from the key steps in the story development process applied by the Murdoch media, so they added their own. (below)

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