UK NEWS:

LONDON: In a shock move Britain will today begin slashing power bills while shutting down all of its traditional fossil-fuel electricity generators, nuclear power stations, and even its newer solar, wind, and other renewable power plants.

UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer said the previously unforeseen change was made possible by the discovery and harnessing of a new and clean power source.

“I am both pleased and proud to say that the United Kingdom can now source all of its energy needs from a single and very reliable source,” Sir Keir said.

“I am pleased because it will allow us to tap a free source of power and cut household and business power bills to almost zero – just enough to cover distribution costs – while meeting and even exceeding our emissions reduction goals.

“I am extremely proud that the source of that clean energy is our beloved late sovereign, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.”

Sir Keir said technicians from the local electricity authority servicing the Windsor area west of London had been called out at the weekend to assess unusual electrical activity in the basement crypt of St George’s Chapel at the noted royal residence Windsor Castle.

“There they discovered that our late Queen was literally spinning in her grave and in doing so was generating vast untapped amounts of electricity as well as causing a lot of spectacular, if potentially deadly, uncontrolled power arcing,” he explained.

“The technicians quickly rigged up the necessary equipment to tap this power as well as pylons to connect Her Late Majesty to the national grid. (below and main picture)       

“Right now these are temporary arrangements to help regulate the power arcing, but will be replaced with permanent structures and power lines as soon as possible.

“Whatever has caused this highly unusual phenomenon remains unclear, although we do have some theories, or one at least.

“Regardless, I find it incredible – and no doubt so do all Britons – that several years after serving 70 years on the throne, Queen Elizabeth continues to set the standard for all of us and in particular for members of the royal family,” an emotional Sir Keir said while standing to attention and bowing his head.

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