The Bug’s world-renowned in-house sexologist has resumed answering reader queries after returning from a global medical conference at the Bill Clinton Presidential Library in Little Rock, Arkansas, where he presented a paper on pustulant STD lesions.

Dear Doctor Dick,

Some years back I kept reading story after story in newspapers and online about a campaign by women that was called Free the Nipple.

It was all about so-called “top freedom” with women saying they should have the same rights as men to go shirtless in public wherever and whenever men are permitted to do so.

Advocates of freeing their nipples said it was all about asserting women’s rights over their own bodies, tackling body shaming, and eliminating the unfair treatment meted out to women in our society.

Well I for one totally supported the cause – of course based on the purest of motives.

I too wanted to fight the pastryarky [sic] and not just to cop a perve now and then. Absolutely not.

I even attended free the nipple protests to lend my support – of course based on the purest of motives. (main picture)

But now, years after all those public protests – and what’s more, with summer coming on – I haven’t seen a single freed nipple let alone a pair of them anywhere whenever I walk down any street.

I reckon I’ve been misled and so has every other bloke who supported the cause – of course based on the purest of motives.

Do you think I should engage a lawyer and sue the feminist movement for what I reckon is a massive fraud perpetrated on the community?

I’m willing to spend whatever it takes to engage lawyers – of course based on the purest of motives – because I think I have a good chance of winning. Do you agree?

Disappointed Daryl
Darra

Doctor Dick replies:

Dear Disappointed Daryl of Darra,

I for one can totally understand your frustration. It does seem to me – of course based on the purest of motives – that the protesters you mention should have carried through with their stated intention.

I’m not a lawyer but I think you have a good chance of winning a lawsuit.

But I warn that of course you’ll need to be prepared for a tit for tat response from protestors.

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