Former prime minister Tony Abbott is planning to return to federal parliament and run for the Liberal Party leadership vacant after Peter Dutton’s defeat in his seat of Dickson.

The news broke on a SkyLNP News special program hosted by Mr Abbott’s former chief of staff Peta Credlin who explored “how Australian voters got it so badly wrong on Saturday”. (below)

Ms Credlin interviewed a series of independent political observers – all fellow “after dark” hosts of SkyLNP News programs – who were in loud, very loud, and furious, very furious, agreement that voters should be ashamed for rejecting Peter Dutton and the Liberals.

Much of the discussion was incomprehensible to viewers because of a persistent echo effect that affected all contributions by the “after dark” hosts.

Ms Credlin put forward a plan to ensure no repeat of “the mistake voters made on Saturday”.

“If people are going to accidentally or even worse, deliberately, vote Labor then our entire electoral system needs to be scrapped and rebuilt from scratch,” Ms Credlin said. “This means going beyond the need to make voting in federal elections voluntary, but to outlaw it entirely.”

Ms Credlin also interviewed her former boss who announced his plan to resume leading the Liberal Party.

“I know there are four people being spoken about at the moment as possible replacements for Peter Dutton,” Mr Abbott said.

“Sussan Ley, Dan Tehan, Angus Taylor, and Andrew Hastie are all good people,” he said. (far right and clockwise from top left below)

“But none of them has the experience I have in leading the Liberal Party,” he said. “I can bring some vigour to the job and take the fight to Labor. I’ll shirtfront Mr Albanese. You bet you are. You bet I am.

“I’m sure one of the few MPs we have left would stand aside and let me win their seat at a by-election to enter the federal parliament.

“Perhaps Sussan Ley herself might step aside in Farrer, or Melissa Price in Durack, or even a new MP like Gisele Kapterian if she ends up winning Bradfield might make way for me.

“I know some people will say we should not lose women MPs from our parliamentary ranks, but we have so few of them anyway so I’m sure one less won’t be missed.

“After all, gifting a man a seat in parliament, like giving him your virginity, is a precious gift which I’m sure they’d all be willing to make.”

Mr Abbott said the Liberals needed to offer fresh policies to voters at the next election that distinguished it from the Labor Party.

“I have a heap of ideas on that front, such as giving the Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Edward, a knighthood,” he said.

“The former Duke, the late Prince Philip got one from me and it went down a treat. I remember it was very well received by all here at Sky,” he said.

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