LNP copyrighter Sharri Markson has easily won The Bug’s uncoveted Coorey-Uhlmann Newswriting Trophy for the fifth and final week of the 2025 federal election campaign.

Ms Markson also works as a host at Sky LNPNews, an online platform that has allowed her over the years but especially during the five weeks of the campaign to rehearse her copyrighting efforts before emailing them to LNP campaign strategists the moment they were ticked off by you-know-who in New York.

But it’s not just Week 5 CUNT glory that Markson has jagged. Our judges have also declared Markson ….. drum roll, please … the overall CUNT winner for the 2025 federal campaign, and only partly because she was co-winner of the Week Four CUNT for declaring all the polls were wrong and the election would be tighter than an ugly choirboy’s arsehole.

As our senior judge explained: “Sharri’s efforts late last week claiming that people might be wondering why she as a journalist was endorsing Peter Dutton as the nation’s next prime minister had her a shoo-in for CUNT glory.

“This brought much derision on social mediocre for two main reasons: firstly, that the poor thing thinks that apart from being a LNP copyrigher she can also be a journalist and secondly that she was now making her rim-ringing, arse-licking endorsement of the now Mashed Spud OFFICIAL! Has a public holiday been declared?

“Is it any wonder that Markson’s complete disregard for any logical and clinical assessment of what took place since late April – arguably the shittiest, most pathetic, voter-offensive ever campaign by the LNP – and how the Albanese and Morrison governments performed before hand, has now won her two weekly CUNTs and overall CUNT honours?”

Below is The Bug’s editor’s final explanation about why the CUNT was especially struck for this election as virtually a weekly version of our Arse-Licker of the Month trophy and why it is so named.

Throughout their righing careers, Phillip Coorey and Chris Uhlmann have constantly shown why they will one day go to their graves believing that only the Liberal Party federally has ever been able to provide sound economic management.

To this end, they have religiously pushed their Coorey-Uhlmann Theory of Electoral Outcomes, namely that as long as polls during elections show the LNP ahead of Labor by the narrowest of margins on primary votes, the only side of politics that can provide sound economic management will romp it in! That’s Right! It takes enormous devotion to a cause to totally ignore the concept – and the outcome – of Australian elections that have compulsory preferential voting. Talk about being prepared to make yourselves look absolutely silly just to write Right!

It’s this total suspension of logic and reality – either by wilful design or by being woefully ill-informed – that our weekly CUNT judges were looking for at the end of each week of the current campaign. And Sharri’s efforts stood out for all the far-right reasons.

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