WASHINGTON, DC: The relationship between Britain and America has fractured, possibly irreparably, and could lead to military action between the former allies following the recent angry exchanges between the Ukrainian and US President and Vice-President.

The collapse of previously longstanding friendly links followed a call to the White House from the British Embassy in Washington DC requesting the return of the bust of former UK prime minister Sir Winston Churchill that President Trump has used to decorate the Oval Office in his first and current terms.

The bust of the former British wartime leader, champion of democracy, and fighter of fascist dictators by noted British sculptor Sir Jacob Epstein, has been formally on loan to the White House since 1947 and has been displayed by several presidents.

A British Embassy spokesperson said the request for its return followed the meeting between Trump, Vice-President JD Vance, and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy.

“A few of us chaps here at the embassy watched on TV the rather rude exchanges Mr Trump and Mr Vance had with Mr Zelenskyy and couldn’t help but notice that by the end of the meeting the Churchill bust was clearly showing some signs of damage,” the spokesperson said. (main picture)

“We then made contact with the White House seeking the bust’s return so that we can assess the damage and make any necessary repairs while maintaining the integrity of the artwork.

“The contact person at the White House rang back later in the day and passed on a message from Mr Trump to our Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer.

“It was really a rather frightfully rude message. The President said we could have the bust, that he didn’t think it was much of a bust, and that we were being rude by not being sufficiently grateful that the White House had kept the bust for more than 70 years.

“Our embassy sent a signal to Downing Street and the PM, Sir Keir Starmer then got involved and rang Mr Trump directly and gave him an earful.

“Although he couldn’t see our PM, Mr Trump started off by accusing Sir Keir of being disrespectful by not wearing a suit for the phone call, which was simply not true.

“Unfortunately it all went downhill rather rapidly from there and Sir Keir and Mr Trump ended up in a shouting match with Mr Trump threatening to first bomb and then invade the UK from his planned new bases in Greenland.

“Sir Keir replied ‘You and whose army?’ to which Mr Trump replied ‘Vladimir’s’, so it’s all become jolly serious.

“In fact it has reached the rather grim stage that MI5 has just this morning set the national threat level to ‘critical’.

“That’s the highest level and means an attack is highly likely in the near future,” the spokesperson said.

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