ISRAELI-GAZA WAR:
TEL AVIV, Israel: Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has established a new program he says will give any remaining Palestinians in Gaza certainty about their future.
A spokesperson for the PM said: “The stage we have reached in razing Gaza to the ground is now final. Solutions must now be found to the tens of thousands of women, children and babies who brazenly continue to disguise themselves as Hamas terrorists.
“We are now rolling out a new Gaza Assistance Scheme that involves sending special mobile chambers (at top right) where Palestinians can come to discuss their future with members of the Israeli Defence Force.
“They are modelled on highly successful units used in parts of Europe in the 1940s.” (at left).
Mr Netanyahu’s spokesperson, a senior Israeli Defence Force officer, said the new GAS was a “sensitive and timely” response by Mr Netanyahu to the problems faced by Palestinians in Gaza.
“I spoke personally to the Prime Minister and members of his war cabinet and other prominent Israeli figures and I can tell you they are all very concerned that Palestinians in Gaza have a future.
“In fact to quote just some of them: ‘There is one and only [one] solution, which is to completely destroy Gaza ….. I mean destruction like what happened in Dresden and Hiroshima, without nuclear weapons. Gaza should be razed and Israel’s rule should be restored to the place. This is our country. There should be two goals for this victory: One, there is no more Muslim land in the land of Israel … After we make it the land of Israel, Gaza should be left as a monument, like Sodom.’
“You can see for yourself that Israel has Palestinians’ interests – mainly their land – at heart,” the spokesperson said.
The spokesperson also said there was a financial reason for the new GAS.
“The imperative for our new progrom,…. I mean program… might offend some woke, hand-grabbing pacifists and kiddy lovers around the world.
“But look, we appreciate the countless heavy munitions that the US is sending our way as we strive to achieve what we’ve always wanted: an Israel finally freed of this two-state nonsense and smelly sub-human Palestinians, but boy, they don’t come cheap.
“We really appreciate what US President Joe Biden is doing to help us but we can’t afford to be sent broke. The cost of rebuilding New South-West Israel … sorry, Gaza… so thankful Israeli homeseekers can start pouring in is going to be enormous.
“Individual bombs and rockets can cost millions each and do you know how much a canister of Zyklon B is selling for at Bunnings outlets around Tel Aviv right now?”
While the US President appeared to be mildly critical of the use of the mobile GAS facilities in the ongoing Israeli-Gaza war, he urged Israel to continue to use traditional heavy weaponry in their totally acceptable fight to defend themselves.
“We’ve got massive piles of this stuff and we always prefer to see it dropped on someone – and preferably by someone else after they’ve paid top dollar for it although history has shown we’re more than happy to do it ourselves in the never-ending search for world peace – than the heavy cost of decommissioning this weaponry,” Mr Biden said.
“It’s a tiresome, time-consuming and very costly process that we always try to avoid at anyone else’s cost.”
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