Boris digs in at Downing Street

UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson is digging in – literally – to save his leadership in the wake of a series of resignations by senior cabinet ministers and other Conservative Party parliamentary office holders.

Mr Johnson’s immediate reaction to the resignations has worried Westminster observers who claim he may be looking to provoke a national or international crisis to divert attention from his personal political problems and stay in office.

“Boris knows his only chance of remaining as PM is if the national news agenda is dominated by a major threat to the nation rather than being focussed on the latest in a succession of internal government crises he has created for himself,” one seasoned observer said.

“For example, he may well choose to escalate Britain’s involvement in the war between Ukraine and Russia to shift public attention from his own mendacity. It’s a high-risk option but if he is desperate enough he might just take that path.”

Mr Johnson denied he was planning to put the nation’s security at risk just to save his own job when questioned by reporters about his motives for having a slit trench dug outside 10 Downing Street overnight. (main picture)

“I say chaps, and chapettes, it’s perfectly natural for a PM or party leader to dig in when challenged and that’s all I’m doing,” Mr Johnson said.

“Any man of his word, like me, would do the same. Oh, I should have said any man or manette of his word would do the same. Hey ho!

“If others choose to interpret my actions as some sort of provocation of that corrupt dwarf and war criminal Vladimir Putin – or I should say ‘Poo Tin’ – then that’s up to them.

“All I can say is that I would never choose such a course of action just to stay on as PM when other viable options are readily available, such as a full scale British invasion of Russia, the bombing of the Kremlin, and the capture of Poo Tin so that we can put him and his cronies on trial and hopefully execute them ASAP.

“I have ordered plans for all of these options to be drawn up immediately and for British troops, fighter jets, bombers, tanks as well as all of our drones and missiles to be put on alert and pointed at Moscow.

“These are just very sensible precautions that any British PM worth his salt would take at this crucial time.

“Oh, of course I should have said ‘worth his or hisette salt’ of course,” Mr Johnson added before pulling a mouth organ from his pocket and playing a medley of Vera Lynn wartime favourites very loudly to drown out reporters’ questions.