Ooh, you absolute bitch!

…. and by that, we might mean you, Andrew!

MAINSTREAM MEDIOCRE:

Who out there in Bugland thinks it was terribly nice of The Sydney Morning Herald‘s Andrew Hornery to give Rebel Wilson a chance to come clean for an exclusive interview before outing the Hollywood star in his Private Sydney column on Saturday?

And to be fair, Andrew last Thursday did give Rebel 48 hours to admit that she was now a grass muncher and, supposedly, should therefore take part in his “Rebel now punts from the Paddington End!” world exclusive.

And how did Rebel respond to Andrew’s “discreet, genuine and honest queries”?

She bloody well gazumped Andrew by outing herself on the Friday, the treacherous be…atch!

Here’s how Andrew began his PS column on Saturday: “In a perfect world, ‘‘outing’’ same-sex celebrity relationships should be a redundant concept in 2022. Love is love, right?

“Instead, PS erred on the side of caution and emailed Rebel Wilson’s representatives on Thursday morning, giving her two days to comment on her new relationship with another woman, LA designer Ramona Agruma, before publishing a single word.

“Big mistake. Wilson opted to gazump the story, posting about her new ‘‘Disney Princess’’ on Instagram early yesterday, the same platform she had previously used to brag about her handsome exboyfriend, wealthy American beer baron Jacob Busch.”

Andrew must have deleted the additional par when he told Rebel Wilson’s people: “Let us know if you don’t want this story run and I’ll spike it, okay?”

While Andrew seeks medical help to get his nose back in joint, The Bug simply asks: Who the fuck really cares if Rebel Wilson has decided to replace a knob of salami with a fish tacco as her meal du jour?

For all The Bug knows, Rebel might have enjoyed dining at the Y for years. And yes, please don’t write in because we know she could very well have been enjoying a beef baynotting at the same time – – a lot of people do – but that’s her business, right?

If she felt the need to protect her career in Hollywood by just boasting about a boyfriend, then surely that’s fair enough too?

Instead, Andrew scores points on her apparent hypocrisy, while appearing to be totally ignorant that his “discreet, genuine and honest queries” have a little blackmailish feel to them. Fess up to us, Rebel, before we spill the beans big time.

It seems Andrew has made up his mind that in a 21stCentury, homophobia-free world, celebrities have a moral duty to disclose their sexual preferences.

Almost. Just in case the 21stCentury homophobia-free world isn’t quite as homophobia-free as we all would hope, and “outing” someone could still present dangers, Andrew and the SMH quite decently gave Rebel Wilson a few days warning that they were going to do something that should be redundant and out her just in case it isn’t. You know it makes sense.

You almost wish you could transport Andrew back to the 1960s Hollywood and see how keen he would have been as a Tinsel Town entertainment reporter to give Rock Hudson two days notice of his intention to reveal that the handsome leading man really enjoyed riding the Chocolate Cha-Char at a men’s-only fairground.