Who called the crunt Campbell?

“Go fuck yourself with a rubber hose!”

At the very least, that’s what Treasurer Jim Chalmers should have told James Campbell when the LNP publicist …. sorry, the Herald-Sun scribe… asked for an interview the other day.

Were I the Treasurer’s media minder, my advice, if asked for, would have been to add the word cunt at the end there.

“Go fuck yourself with a rubber hose, CUNT!”

My further advice to Chalmers, if asked for, would have been to really emphasise the word CUNT just before noisily hanging up.

Jim Chalmers is coming across as a pretty nice guy, isn’t he? Handsome rooster too. Speaks well. Lovely smile. Oodles of empathy and with sound economic management credentials. Will serve Australia well.

But, why, oh why, would he give that cunt …. sorry, James Campbell … the time of day, let alone an interview?

Is Jim Chalmers a “forgive and forget” kind of guy. Bound to some sort of “let’s wipe the slate clean and make a fresh start” philosophy, decent yet foolish as that might be?

Well, I think he’s making a big, big, mistake.

There was probably no-one more reprehensible in the News Crap Australia organisation than James Campbell in trying to keep in power the worst government this nation has ever suffered under.

From his Herald-Sun desk between ball fiddles and bites out of his box of cream donuts, Campbell ignored every basic principle of journalism to pump out tripe blown out of all proportion by the LNP’s Bowen Hills branch … sorry …The Courier-Mail (above) in Chalmers’ home state of Queensland.

‘Schmozzle’ decisions that have rocked the party to its core. Indeed. Amazing how it ended up winning majority government, really.

It was all rightwing nutjob risible bullshit, of course, designed to damage Albanese personally, as was the vomitous regurgitation of the Morrison’s government’s talking point de jour “small and weak” highly personal attacks on Albanese.

Chalmers giving the cunt … sorry, James Campbell… the time of day, let alone time for an interview, is akin to a man hugging someone who’s just been convicted in court of threatening to kill his family.

This repulsive cunt … sorry, James Campbell – tried his very, very “best” to keep Labor languishing on the Opposition benches for another three years. He’s not a journalist’s bulging haemorrhoid.

But worst of all, for mine, is the possibility that Chalmers thinks that being nice to cunts like
Campbell – and far too many other politics scribes – is going to turn him in particular into a fair and professional journalist who will give Labor a far better run over the next three years and at the next federal election.

Jim. Jim. Jim! If someone writes like a cunt and talks like a cunt and acts like a cunt, then they’re a cunt.

Campbell is a cunt whose never going to change his ways – well certainly not while the Murdochs pay his wages – and if you think turning the other cheek is going to change him, well, then, I’m sorry to have to say this but as well as being a nice guy with a lovely smile, a well-spoken, handsome rooster with oodles of empathy and sound economic management credentials, then you’re also a fucking idiot.

Don Gordon-Brown

EDITOR’S NOTE: We used CRUNT instead of CUNT in the heading largely in fear of being put in the Facebook/Twitter naughty corner. Given how often social media uses the word cunt to describe cunts like James Campbell, do you think we were being overly or unnecessarily cautious?

PPS: I write too fast and too furiously. In an earlier version of this thumped out and uploaded this morning before I’d had enough coffees, I wrote Sun-Herald instead of Herald-Sun. My apologies to real journalists who work at the Sun-Herald. What can I say? I’m a drongo! – DGB.