Labor in turmoil as Albanese quits!


Labor’s poll hopes have been dashed this morning with the shock resignation of Opposition leader Anthony Albanese after a second shocking gaffe in under 24 hours.

Labor shadow ministers are in a frenzied telephone hookup right now to decide on a new leader, with Tanya Plibersek and Jim Chalmers the top contenders.

Whoever takes over the reins, today’s shock withdrawal is expected to hand the LNP a big win on 21 May and a fourth straight term in office.

Albanese threw his hands in the air and said: “That’s it. I’m out of here!” at an 8am media call this morning when brilliant television political reporter Jonathan Kearsley stumped the hopeless and hapless Albanese by demanding that he recite the Ten Commandments.

As Albanese started to respond, Kearsley, Channel 9’s political reporter, shouted: “You don’t know them all, do you?”

Albanese: “Of course I do but I don’t really think that knowing the…”

But Kearsley was having none of that. He sneered before shouting at Albanese: “Australian voters deserve to know whether their next leader is going to be a true Christian with a deep love of Jesus Christ, his Lord and Master like Scott Morrison clearly has,” Kearsley interrupted, pausing briefly before adding “God bless him.”

Albanese paused before responding: “Well, obviously the first one is Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house, nor his farm, nor his cattle…

“That’s number 10,” shouted Kearsley derisively, scoffing quite audibly as he checked his mobile phone to make sure he was spot on.

“You can’t name them in order, can you?”

Kearsley stepped up his attack when a minder handed Albanese a note containing the full 10 commandments in order.

He continued to shout over a stumbling, bumbling, Albanese as others in the media scrum starting shouting “Nah nah na naar naaah” and NewsCorpse staffers to a man and a woman backed them up with “Sco…Mo! Sco .. Mo!”

At the back of the pack, veteran Nine Entertainment Co. political reporters Chris Uhlmann (Channel 9) and Phillip Coorey (The Australian Financial Review) pumped their fists in the air triumphantly before hugging each other tightly and tongue kissing deeply.