Electoral hell has cooled ever so slightly for the Morrison government but it still has a snowflake’s chance of victory on 21 May, according to The Bug‘s patented big swinging dick electoral pendulum.
New polls in recent days have seen the LNP’s primary vote average across four major polls lift ever so marginally to 34.6 per cent, compared with 34.1 per cent a week ago.
Or to put it in layman’s terms, the bellend of our big swinging dick electoral pendulum – you may have noticed it looks very much like a flaccid-arsed, ethically bereft, money-hungry, New York nonagenarian whose interests have always had fuck-all to do with Australia’s – has bobbled ever so slightly to the right. Or the left as you face the pendulum.
This puts the LNP still close to seven per cent below the primary figure of 41.44 per cent it achieved in 2019, a platform from which it just scraped back into power.
Now it is true that some of these polls are showing very large percentages of undecided voters but Smoko Morrison’s corrupt and criminal porkbarreling now going on at record levels around the nation will really have to bite hard – and soon – to sandbag the government’s marginal seats.
Morrison and his mob can’t afford to lose even one of those marginals, yet a swag would be lost easily on the latest results of our big swinging dick electoral pendulum, named in honour of a big swinging dicks club that used to reign supreme in federal parliament in years gone past.
And should we spare a thought for arguably Australia’s finest ever business mind, Clive Palmer?
The Bug‘s political scribes reckon Palmer is about a third way through his $60 million spend – that’s the fat man’s claim and we reckon it will end much higher – and according to one pollster, Roy Morgan, the primary vote for his United Australia Party has gone up a whopping 0.0 per cent on the 1.5 per cent it recorded a week ago.
What is that adage about a fool and his money?
FREEDUMB! FREEDUMB! FREEDUMB FOREVER!