Logie Awards hit the spot

LOGIE AWARDS:

A Brisbane amateur boxer is in training for what he hopes will be several bouts against a number of his least-favourite celebrities at this year’s Logie Awards on the Gold Coast in June.

Bob Andweave, 38, said the performance of Will Smith at the Academy Awards this week had inspired him to contact organisers of the Logie Awards to see if they too would take a hands-off approach to anyone who assaulted a presenter or celebrity.

“Will Smith was able to wander on stage at the Oscars and heavily slap host Chris Rock for telling a joke,” Mr Andweave said.

“Yet the organisers of the ceremony, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, haven’t lifted a finger.

“The incident certainly boosted interest in this year’s Oscars so I figured the people behind the Logies might take up my idea of having a few punch-ups on stage and off during their ceremony in June.

“I’m already in training at my home gym, getting ready to punch out the lights of people like Karl Stefanovic and Waleed Aly. (main picture)

“I figure Karl’s good for a knockout because he’s been so pissed at the Logies in previous years he probably won’t know the difference.

“Waleed will cop a pounding, not for his work on TV, but for The Minefield, that wanky ABC Radio National program he hosts which bores me shitless every time I happen to accidentally stumble upon in when twirling the dial.”

Mr Andweave said ideally he would like to just wander throughout the stage, backstage, and floor area of the Gold Coast Convention Centre during the Logie Awards and punch any celebrity he didn’t like.

“I hope one or all of the Peter Van Onselens will be at the Network Ten table. Rest assured I won’t miss him, or them,” he said.

“I also hope Scott Cam is there with the Nine Network crew. As a taxpayer I’d like to recoup in some small way – even if it’s just through a few left hooks – the thousands in cash he pocketed for doing fuckall as the Morrison Government’s careers ambassador a few years back.”