Was Newspoll dumped this week?

Suspicion is growing in media circles that the Newspoll that was supposed to run in today’s The Australian broadshit was dumped because its findings were absolute disastrous for the Morrison government.

And by media circles, we sort of mean more like the half-circle the washed-up old hacks who put out The Bug form around the coffee machine early each morning as they workshop some shit they could write to upload each day.

“I reckon what happened is that early last night Christopher “show quality journalism the” Dore shat himself when @ghostwhovotes finally released this week’s survey,” offered one old hand who now can’t remember the exact number of Walkleys he won during a working lifetime in the mainstream media.

“I heard Labor had moved out to a 12-point lead on two-party preferred terms,” another made up as a potential Bug yarn took shape.

“And that Albanese had moved ahead of Morrison as preferred PM.

“Which is why I heard that a desperate Christopher Dore pleaded at the death for their pollsters YouGov to pull out some stats as to who was the preferred PM with a surname starting with a consonant.

“He apparently shouted down the phone: ‘Give me something I can fucking splash with, for fuck’s sake!'”

“I heard that the figures made an absolute mockery of the pathetic attempts by just about everyone in the MSM to damage a ‘gutless’ Albanese for failing to announce an inquiry into just how many Labor politicians were responsible for the murder of Kimberley Kitching,” one of the Swedish triplet copy girls offered.

“Okay chaps, I think we’ve got enough for one of today’s yarns,” said another grizzled old veteran as he poured a healthy measure from his hip flask into his coffee cup. ” Who wants to use the office typewriter and key it in?”