Sorry, Scooter, but it’s time to scoot

OPINION:

With The Bug‘s national political affairs commentator TERRI TORY

Scott Morrison is a dead man talking badly. He’s all smirk and mirrors. His photo-opportunities are now embarrassing to watch. Voters are now laughing openly at him which is a political death sentence. So I’m sorry to have to say this but he needs to be replaced immediately for Australia’s sake.

I appreciate that several other leading rightwing commentators have been calling on the Prime Minister to quit for some weeks now, including my close mates Andrew Bolt and Janet Albrechtsen over at Newscorpse; both have written ScoMo off as an election liability.

I was reluctant to join in their call for ScoMo to stand aside but I can be silent no more.

The guy is a national joke. His bald-faced lies during his prime ministership have caught up with him. And the way he butchers the English language whenever he speaks, he should be wearing a blue-and-white-striped apron.

He’s either a dreadul pisspot or he’s suffering some major cognitive condition and chronic speech impediment.

While we all know ScoMo’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, I’ve always admired that he possesses the cunning of a dozen shithouse rats. Until recently, I thought he was the one guy who could pull off a repeat of his “miracle” 2019 win.

But the next election is just around the corner and every iteration of his persona, every new three-word slogan he conjures up, are falling on deaf ears. The Australian public clearly is well and truly over him. The Arc of Autocracy, for fuck’s sake. What the hell does that even mean?

He has rattled the national security cage repeatedly of recent times and no beast has been released; the polls have barely budged.

And now to top things off – or to top him off – his reaction to the tragic floods that have wrecked the lives of countless people along the nation’s eastern seaboard has been one of a muddling, self-cenred, self-satisfied faux-marketing moron who thought he needed to be on the ground in person to declare an emergency that should have been declared a week ago.

And farming out federal relief to local government areas within government-held seats smacks of colour-coded sheets and shameless pork barreling. He’ll extend the largesse but the damage to him has been lismorian.

His chances of reelection have been washed out to sea along with the lives and livelihoods of countless Australians wrecked by dozens of swollen rivers. Notwithstanding COVID, he’s been exposed as a lazy, loathsome lowlife who cares only about himself and I’m simply dumbfounded how he has managed to repeat the mistakes of his Black Summer bushfires disaster.

That’s one of ScoMo’s basic problems: he’s too dumb to know just how fucking stupid he really is.

He’s got to go for Australia’s sake. We need a new prime minister that Australians can turn to; one who can prevent the election of Labor under Anthony Albanese, the most left-wing politician in our nation’s history.

Australia faces enormous hurdles right now with China’s president Xi Jingping threatening to spend billions to woo Pacific nations – amounts we can’t afford to even try to match as we quite rightly shrink government to get out of people’s lives – so do we seriously want communist China’s Manchurian candidate in The Lodge? Of course we don’t. No thinking Australian does.

But who will be our knight in shining armour who can defeat the failed Catholic Albanese’s relentless march to power and thwart that mindless sewer pit of woke, innercity far-left radicals on Twitter that is pushing his far-left cause?

Can I be frank? I don’t like Peter Dutton. No-one does, probably including him. And I find Josh Frydenberg okay and it’s great that the nation’s unemployment rate will soon have a minus in front of it but is Australia ready for a Jewish PM? Anyway, Australians don’t like Treasurers. Never have.

For mine, there’s only one choice and that’s why I’m calling on Greg Hunt to abandon his decision to leave politics at the May poll.

He’s been easily the least-worst minister by far in Morrison’s Cabinet and the nation needs him right now.

Sure, he’s a bit funny looking, his hair style is bizarre and looks a bit like Shemp’s from The Three Stooges and he’s rather small but that didn’t stop John Winston Howard.

It’s why I am calling on Dutton and Frydenberg and their parliamentary supporters to back Hunt for leader RIGHT NOW!

Time is of the essence and I firmly believe we’d be Back in the Hunt with Hunt!