God to run in federal poll

God has announced her intention to stand as an independent candidate at the coming federal election.

In an exclusive interview with The Bug, the Omnipotent Divine Being (main picture) said recent events in Australia including debate in Federal Parliament over religious freedoms had prompted her decision.

“All the recent fuss over the so-called religious freedom laws has just crystallised my thinking,” God said.

“I’ve seen too many MPs referencing me just to excuse their small-minded, heartless, destructive, and discriminatory views.

“I don’t discriminate against gay, bi, trans or any other individuals. I love them all.

“Why wouldn’t I? After all as the Creator, the Maker, the Almighty Being, I made them all in my image.

“So it’s been very frustrating watching from the sidelines as some MPs hypocritically use my name to justify their own prejudices.

“It’s also annoyed me that those same MPs see nothing wrong with the actions of people like those arseholes at Citipointe Christian College in Brisbane who use my name to make life miserable for people who don’t share what I know to be their un-Godly and un-Christian attitudes.

“Love your fellow human beings is what I teach, not the shit they teach at that happy-clapping, money-making, bigot factory they run.

“One of the first things I want to see happen if I’m elected is a Private Member’s Bill to put an end to people like them using my name in vain.”

God would not be drawn on what federal seat she was considering to stand in.

“Let’s just say I’m not going to try to push out of politics people I admire and any of those with whom I have a genuine and respectful relationship,” she said.

“I’ve got a shortlist of seats that I’m considering. The list contains seats where the current MP has been claiming they speak to me and live their life as I want them to live it, but in reality they’ve been lying because I’ve never had a conversation with them simply because I’d never condone their dishonesty, self-interest, and hypocrisy.”

God refused to name the seats on her shortlist but said she was willing to drop a hint.

“Put it this way, when I say shortlist it is a very short list. Just one seat in fact,” she said.

“As you Australians say, I’ve had a Captain Cook at all the federal seats and pretty much settled on just one.”

Asked if she believed that entering politics was the right thing to do, God was unequivocal in her response.

“Of course it’s the right thing to do,” she said. “By definition, as the All-Knowing All-Powerful Life Force, whatever I do is the right thing to do.”