Rats deny shortage claims

VERMIN:

Australia’s sewer rats have expressed concern about public commentary which suggests they are in short supply or too expensive.

President of the National Vermin Rodent Association, Beau Bonnick, held a news conference in George Street in Sydney today to allay community fears. (main picture)

 “As they’ve been scurrying around doing their daily, and nightly, work many of our members have been hearing a lot of talk suggesting that there is a shortage of rats,” Mr Bonnick said.

“I can assure all Australians that nothing could be further from the truth. There are plenty of rats right across the nation, probably more than one for every Australian – in fact probably a lot more than one per person.

“We are also very concerned about claims that some retailers are overcharging for rats.

“If that’s true then it is a shocking situation and those people should be charged and penalised immediately.

“We have always proudly carried out our work for free and no Australian should pay anything for a rat or however many rats they want.

“I can safely speak on behalf of all of our members to assure everyone that rats will never charge to invade your homes or business premises, especially in the food service sector.”

Mr Bonnick said another cause for concern was the repeated call for the installation of vending machines to dispense rats.

“I can’t fathom what’s behind that suggestion,” he said. “I mean there wouldn’t be a vending machine already operating in the nation that does already have a rat or rats in residence.”