Judges seek expert advice

The judging panel for The Bug’s Media Glass House Arselicker of the Month is seeking legal advice and expert analysis before making any decision on an early entry for the January 2022 award.

The judges called for the extra advice and information after receiving the nomination of a column by right-wing commentator Des Houghton appearing on Saturday 1 January 2022 in News Crap Australia’s Brisbane turdbloid The Courier-Mail. (main picture)

The column consisted of two stories, one attacking alleged left-wing bias displayed by the national broadcaster, the Australian Broadcasting Corporation, and another in which Houghton named PM Scott Morrison as his personal “person of the year”.

When the nomination for the monthly Arselicker of the Month award was opened at a meeting of the judging panel – whose identities are kept confidential – it soon provoked strong debate about its suitability to be considered.

It is believed that some judges questioned whether the column met the criteria for the award which is usually given to reporters, commentators, or other media identities who mount an embarrassingly transparent, grovelling, obsequious argument regardless of all known facts to support a particular person, usually a politician.

Some judges felt it would be risky to set a new precedent by admitting the Houghton column to the January shortlist because it was unclear whose arse he was licking clean.

“By both tearing strips off the ABC and naming the PM as his ‘person of the year’ is Des licking Morrison’s coit or is he rimming Rupert’s ring?” one judge told The Bug.

“It’s unclear if he is sucking up to one or the other or both. Our past awards have been given to media suckholes who clearly brownnose one individual.

“So some of us on the panel felt we are in uncharted territory and we want extra information and legal advice before we proceed with any further consideration.”

The anonymous judge said a separate question the panel discussed was the time period covered by Houghton’s declaration of Scott Morrison as his “person of the year”.

“Des does make fleeting reference to the PM’s performance last year but also canvasses his time in the top job since succeeding Malcolm Turnbull as well as his time as a minister under Turnbull.

“So because the column was published on 1 January, we’re really not clear if Des is naming Morrison as his ‘person of the year’ for 2021 or 2022 already,” the judge explained.