PM lies the groundwork

FEDERAL POLITICS:

Prime Minister Scott Morrison plans to adopt a radical plan to secure the re-election of his government by embracing his reputation as a liar.

As a first step Mr Morrison has directed the federal Liberal Party to change its name to the Liebral Party (main picture) and has conferred with campaign staff on ways to aggressively promote his record of untruthfulness.

“Bald-faced, no-shame lies are the PM’s speciality and he realises he has little else going for him at this stage of the electoral cycle,” a source within the Liebral Party’s federal secretariat in Canberra said.

“Being a marketing genius, the PM knows that to sell a product you need to play to its strengths.

“He’s thought long and hard about his own strengths and has told us that the one thing he’s really, really good at is lying which, naturally, he has since denied to us.

“So he intends to go all out to embrace being a rolled-gold liar and to kick off that plan he’ll effectively acknowledge his public reputation and image as a serial liar by continuing to vigorously rejecting claims of untruthfulness.

“He’ll also be regularly refuting Labor Party suggestions that he never tells the truth which, of course, everyone will know is a lie.

“That in turn will feed into another one of his plans – to constantly compare and contrast himself with Anthony Albanese on the measure of truthfulness.

“Up to and throughout the campaign the PM will be asking voters: Which one of them do they trust to tell the truth about lying to them?

“He also plans to use his campaign policy speech to confess to the Australian people that everything he has ever said to them has been a lie, and he’ll say that includes even that confession itself.”

The party source admitted there was “a fair bit of nervousness” in senior Liebral Party ranks about Mr Morrison’s plan.

“We all know such a tactic would be a major challenge even for your above-average liar,” the source said.

“But the PM has told us directly to our faces that he knows he can pull it off, which quite frankly hasn’t settled anyone’s nerves,” the source said.