After a short delay while we sought crucial legal advice, The Bug can now announce that the winner of its Media Glass House Arse-Licker of the Month award for October is none other than Adam Taylor, Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s official photographer.
Our judges instantly recognised Taylor as the month’s standout arse-licker the moment they spied Taylor’s instagram lickspittle homage to his boss a few days back (above).
In fact, we’ll repeat it again here. Marvel at the fulsome words of praise to his boss but a warning: make sure you’ve got a chuck bucket handy when you read it.
Would anyone doubt that Taylor is a true ringmaster, and Smoko’s arse would have smelt pristine pine-forest fresh after the snapper went to work with his wonderful words? Has there ever been a more frenzied or thorough tongue-cleansing?
We appreciate Smoko is Taylor’s boss but could you imagine what would happen to a shelf-stacker at your local Woolies or Coles if they stuck a note like that on the staff noticeboard praising the store’s manager to the hilt? So many industrial rubbish bins behind the supermarket to dump their body in.
No, the award was clearly there for Taylor’s to grasp proudly but there were a few problem for the judges.
Taylor’s homage to his hero was not spotted until Monday, November 1, but the judges badly wanted it to be considered for October lest it be forgotten by December – like a deserved Oscar winner that comes out far too early in the year – which would be a crying shame.
And, more crucially, is the MGH Arse-Licker Award solely for people who work in the mainstream media? Taylor’s work often appears in the MSM, but does that make him eligible for selection?
We approached not just The Bug’s in-house legal team but outside silks and not just jockeys as well, and the general consensus was it would be a shame if Taylor could not be recognised for his bottom – sorry, body – of work.
So well done, Adam Taylor!
And we are indebted to that wonderful Tweeterer @RonniSalt for providing the examples of some of Taylor’s work shown above and below and her own explanation as to how Taylor likes to portray his boss as he so obviously sees him through a lens – as an angel, not a man!
A godlike presence free of any human frailty or weakness whatsoever.
Taylor clearly believes that when the Rapture comes, God’s going to beam Scottie up before anyone else.