Vaccine rollout hits a snag

BRISBANE: A man, 33 has died from complications after receiving his first COVID-19 injection at a suburban Bunnings outlet yesterday.

His unfortunate death comes just hours after the Queensland Government had announced the superstore as the latest “walk in” outlet for vaccinations as it strives to ramp up the vaccination rate as the state moves tentatively towards reopening borders.

The Bug understands the man, a plumber from Alexandria Hills in the city’s east, was accidentally injected with a well-cooked pork sausage instead of his first dose of Pfizer at the super store’s Capalaba outlet.

A state Health Department spokesperson told The Bug: “Although the dose was administered by a registered nurse, she was incredibly nervous due to the presence of a number of TV news crews from the mountain and simply reached for the wrong thing.

“She didn’t push the sausage all that far into the man’s arm and he would have survived but sadly, as it turned out, he was allergic to fried onion.”

SYDNEY: Hundreds of fitness clubs throughout the entire Greater Sydney Region are rejoicing at the easing of lockdown restrictions that has allowed them to reopen their doors to members desperate to return to a much-needed workout to improve their physical and mental health and wellbeing.

“We’re just glad to be getting back to normal,” the owner of a Penrith Fitness First franchise said.

“Our entire industry can now look forward to business as usual and going bankrupt and closing down at our normal pre-COVID rate.”

LONDON: Prime Minister Boris Johnson has told the British Parliament overnight that the English Channel will be officially renamed The Chloe McCardel channel.

And so it fuckingly well should be!