Premier outlines ‘radical’ plan

STATE POLITICS:

NSW’s new Premier has responded to critics who claim he is too socially conservative by implementing what he describes as a radical new system of titles for his cabinet.

Announcing that he would henceforth be known as Premier Dominic the First, the state’s new leader (main picture) said the NSW state cabinet would be replaced by a new body, the NSW College of Cardinals.

“The title Cardinal will apply to all those who were previously known as Ministers with the exception of the Deputy Premier,” Premier Dominic said.

“On that note I would like to take the opportunity to congratulate Paul Toole …. I’m sorry, I mean Cardinal Archbishop Toole on his election as leader of the Nationals, and therefore becoming Deputy Premier.”

Premier Dominic said he expected his government to transact business a lot faster than its predecessors after he implements and explains to his Cardinals the doctrine of premier infallability.

His Holiness made his comments from a freshly constructed balcony on the top floor of Vatican City, formerly known as the NSW Houses of Paliament, and wished everyone an Opus dei before retreating inside to be disrobed.