Keneally told to lay low  


Senior NSW Labor Party figures have told Senator Kristina Keneally to adopt a low profile until her proposed installation as the party’s candidate for the western Sydney seat of Fowler is secured.

A source within the Sussex Street headquarters of the party said factional powerbrokers were concerned that Senator Keneally was “trying too hard” to justify her controversial move from the upper to the lower house of the Federal Parliament.

“In particular the faction bosses are worried that Kristina is putting locals in Fowler offside by trying to explain why it’s important she becomes the next member rather than the local Vietnamese-Australian solicitor Tu Le previously anointed by outgoing Labor MP Chris Hayes,” the source said.

“They’ve told Kristina they’re concerned that her efforts to ingratiate herself with local branch members is looking a little unsubtle.

“They’ve said she should lay low for a while to give them time to complete their job of riding roughshod over local sentiments and brutally destroying the career of a deserving up-and-coming local candidate with genuine talent and a proven commitment to the local community.

“After that they’re happy for Kristina to start spinning the usual bullshit celebrity candidates vomit in the faces of locals once they’ve been shoehorned into a safe seat,” the source said.

When interviewed by The Bug on what she described as “a spontaneous street walk” in Cabramatta,  Senator Keneally (main picture) said she was unaware of the Labor HQ directive.

“No, no. I not know of dis dilective,” she said, mimicking a borderline racist Asian accent*.

“But I make good rocal leplesentative when I in parriament in Canbella.”

When asked why she should push aside a young female candidate in an overwhelmingly  multicultural seat, especially one whose parents had fled to Australia after the Vietnam War, Senator Keneally grew indignant.

“Ah, I know about being a lefugee,” she replied. “I know what it rike to make lisky journey in boat.

“I do evely day from Scotrand Irrand,” Senator Keneally said before accosting a series of young Vietnamese men walking past and asking each of them: “Aren’t you Anh Do? You paint my portlait?”

*EDITOR’S NOTE: Fuck it, a totally racist fake Asian accent.