Dutton denies war plans

Defence Minister Peter Dutton says he can categorically deny that he is intent on provoking a war with China anytime soon.

Speaking at his home north of Brisbane where he spent the weekend re-landscaping his backyard, (main picture) Mr Dutton said: “I can say to the Australian people that they can sleep easy, or at least at ease, at night.

“But maybe in coming months, if not weeks, they should wear some civvies under their pyjamas and a gas mask just in case,” he added.

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Federal cross-bench MP, Bob Katter, says he will stand again at the next federal election because he has much more not to achieve for his constituents.

“I will run again at the next election because somebody has to stand up..,” he began slowly and softly and appearing quite reasonable before suddenly erupting into a snarling, angry persona and shouting so loudly his hat flew off, “…for the 453 dairy farmers eaten each day by a foreign-owned crocodile which wouldn’t happen if we implemented the Bradfield Scheme and looser gun laws,” Mr Katter said.

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US President Joe Biden has avoided questions asking if he would recall America’s ambassador to France.

At a White House news conference Mr Biden detailed his reasons for not answering.

“Sure the other day I forgot the name of that guy from Austria when I joined him and Prime Minister Thatcher in our virtual announcement about our new agreement on orcas,” he said.

“And sure the other day I forgot the name of that guy from Austria when I joined him and Prime Minister Thatcher in our virtual announcement about our new agreement on orcas.

“But just because the other day I forgot the name of that guy from Austria when I joined him and Prime Minister Thatcher in our virtual announcement about our new agreement on orcas, does not mean you can trap me into recalling the name of our ambassador to France.

“By the way did I mention that the other day I forgot the name of that guy from Austria when I joined him and Prime Minister Thatcher in our virtual announcement about our new agreement on orcas?” the President said.