Hunt’s job on the line

MELBOURNE: Health Minister Greg Hunt has been carpeted by Prime Minister Scott Morrison after admitting on Channel 9’s Today show this morning that the reason some Labor states were lagging behind in COVID-19 vaccine rollouts was because they had sent their own precious supplies to help NSW’s virus outbreak of recent months.

Mr Hunt, who also added that the Labor states would now be given extra vaccines to help them ‘catch up’, has apologised for his brief lapse into decency and honesty and remains hopeful of staying in the Morrison ministry.

And state premiers Daniel Andrews and Annastacia Palaszczuk are reportedly being treated for shock after hearing what Mr Hunt said.

A spokesperson for the Victorian Premier said Mr Andrews hoped to be recovered significantly to be able to front his three-hour daily media conference where Newscorpse journalists, shock jocks and, sadly lately, even The Age lead the charge in ripping him to shreds for everything he’s ever done and not just over the coronavirus … and, of course, his ridiculously large earlobes which he has never really explained to Rachel Baxendale’s satisfaction!

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BILLINUDGEL, NSW: An elderly couple who sold their home near here some months ago and who are homeless from today when settlement takes place remains hopeful of being allowed across the Queensland border to drive to their expensive new Brisbane rental after cleverly changing their surname this week to Nrl-Wags.