ABC in line of fire

A quick survey by The Bug has found deep community anger towards the ABC after its Monday night screening of the first of a two-part report by Four Corners about media mogul Rupert Murdoch and his far-right US TV network Fox News.

Roper Much-Turd – 90, businessman, visiting from New York: “I wish the ABC would just leave me… I mean, him alone. Just because I…. I mean he had a brief flirtation with Donald Trump – politically speaking of course – why should the national broadcaster try to tear him down? Or exist at all?”

Pertru “Doc” Murd – 90, businessman, visiting from New York: “These fact-based stories like the ABC’s are totally alien to the Australian way of reporting, not to mention The Australian way of reporting.”

Cruder Hump-Rot – 90, businessman, visiting from New York: “I agree with that last guy, it’s un-Australian. A bit like the subject matter himself if I can be honest for once in my life.”

RuPert – 90, drag queen, visiting from New York: “For a man of his age Mr Murdoch looks like he is sensationally fit and virile, don’t I? I mean doesn’t he? He could leave his massive market dominance under my bed any night.”

Paige Threegurl, 90, businessman, visiting from New York: “I think it was disgusting what the ABC did to that poor Mr Murdoch the other night. He’s just a sweet, kindly relatively youthful man who is still…. I mean seems to me to be still capable of satisfying an attractive young woman in bed. Or failing that, a washed up ex-wife of a geriatric rock star.”

Chemo Turd-Purr – 90, businessman, visiting from New York: “Typically the ABC wastes taxpayers’ money by using Four Corners to attack someone when a well-run private sector network like, say, Sky News would do the job with just one.”