Ekka shutdown costs soar!

BRISBANE: The horrific financial – and human – costs are sadly quickly emerging following the axing of the Royal Queensland Show for the second year running due to COVID-19.

And the hardest hit are the entertainment and food venues in and around the Ekka’s famous sideshow alley, with the RNA expressing grave fears that many veteran stall owners may not survive this second consecutive blow to their livelihoods.

An RNA spokesperson explained: “Of course there’s also a major financial blow to stud owners who have brought their animals to the show for judging but as a general rule they are in a position to absorb those losses.”

“Our showies – especially those who run the laughing clowns, knock-em-downs, climbing monkeys, basketball hoops, kicking mules and the like – are going to be left stranded, each with many hundreds of dollars worth of Chinese-made large fluffy toys, huge green cloth snakes and the like that now can’t be won and will disintegrate over the coming days anyway as the hospital bandages inside them start to disintegrate.

“And of course the tax department for the second year running is going to miss out on a mere fraction, if that, of what they would have actually made over the duration of the show.

“The only good news concerns those who hold the Dagwood dog stall franchises.

“At least there’s nothing in a Dagwood dog that can go off – well, no more than it already has.”

Editor’s note: We could have had more fun with this, including the old “meat found in Ekka pie shock” one-liner but don’t you think that’s enough for now?

Joyce: I can’t make that promise!

CANBERRA: Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has refused, rather unapologetically it might be added, to promise to appear “stone cold sober” at this afternoon’s Question Time in Parliament.

“I would have needed to stop drinking first thing Tuesday morning to make that even remotely possible,” he said.