Egghead meddles in Games


An American academic has called for an overhaul of the current system for determining the “winner” of the Olympic Games, starting with the current event in Tokyo.

Emeritus Professor Julius Kelp of the now-defunct Trump University (main picture) said the daily ranking of “winning” nations was misleading because it relied solely on gold medals.

He said his proposed new points-based ranking system would be much fairer.

“The current medal table is published with competing nations listed in order of how many gold medals they have won, Professor Kelp said.

“If nations win the same number of gold medals, then their relative number of silver medals are considered to determine which nation takes precedence.

“The same calculation is done on bronze medals if they win the same number of golds and silvers.

“But that ignores the relative value of gold, silver, and bronze medals which my proposed system takes into account.”

Professor Kelp said his system allocated three points for a gold medal, two points for silver, and one point for a bronze medal.

“Once you do the calculations based on points the medal table changes dramatically,” he said. (pictured)

“As of Saturday night the official Olympic rankings had China leading, followed by host nation Japan, and the USA in third place which is clearly wrong.

“Under my system China would still lead at this stage of the Games but the USA would be coming second and Japan drops to fourth.

“I’m afraid to say that my system would see Australia go from its current fifth place to sixth and be overtaken by Great Britain.”

Professor Kelp said he was confident that under his system the American team would emerge victorious at the Tokyo Olympics once all competition in all sports concluded.

Asked why the system should be changed, Professor Kelp said he was interested only in fairness.

“It’s only fair that America wins the Olympics as it has always done in the past,” he said.

“We especially can’t tolerate not winning over Japan, can we? That would be rewriting history.

“We are the world’s winning nation. We won World War I, World War II, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, and we won in Afghanistan and Iraq which is why we can now pull out of both after rebuilding them as happy, successful, prosperous, and democratic nations,” he said.