A question of time for PM

Against my better judgment, for the first time in a very long time, I took in the House of Reps’ parliamentary question time on Monday.

Big mistake.

Don’t know about anyone else, but the entire #QT reminded me terribly of that crucial, devastating scene in that great movie, A Few Good Men (at top).

I’m not talking about the Dorothy Dixers where brown-nosing backbenchers ask ministers if they are aware as to how good they are as ministers and if they know of any alternative approaches.

No, it was the persistent Labor questions that interested me more and the replies that upset me more still. You see Labor has got into its head that Prime Minister Scott Morrison for whatever bizarre reason has not inquired into allegations that some people in his office may have actively tried to undermine Brittany Higgins’ loved ones.

Most of the questions were simple and to the point: did Morrison ask his PMO staff and media people if the claim had any veracity whatsoever?

Morrison’s non-answers varied a bit and social mediocre had fun with them.

The one I liked a lot was: “I have no information to suggest this is the case.”

Bear in mind he is being asked a simple and direct question: did he looked into the claim?

My best guess from that answer is that he mentally sought information from himself about whether he had done that and no information came back to him from him to suggest that he had.

In recent days, he has also told Parliament that the internal investigation by his department head and the nation’s top public servant Phil Gaetjens into who knew what and when was ongoing and the PM was awaiting an update from Gaetjens before he could suggest a possible end date and findings.

We heard on Monday that Gaetjens had halted his inquiry in early March and had told Morrison that back then.

I’ll leave more diplomatic mainstream media political journos to dance around words to describe the PM’s answers – obfuscation, mischievous misleading, deflection, wilful omission of facts Australians are entitled to know about, a bit loose with the truth at best – but I’ll call them out for what they are: red-hot porkies.

An inquiry halted and one that very well might not restart is not ongoing. Being told weeks ago that the inquiry had been halted is an update, PM.

Likewise, I suspect that if Newspoll asked Australians right now if they thought Morrison had been told of Higgins’ alleged rape just after the event two years ago, yes would be in a very strong majority.

Let’s not beat about the bush. Scott Morrison has been lying his pudgy arse off in Parliament about various aspects of the Brittany Higgins rape allegation. Let me adopt an ugly, bullying demeanour and lean aggressively over an imaginary despatch box and spit it out: Lying. His. Pudgy. Arse. Off.

I sometimes suspect Morrison doesn’t know when he’s lying anymore as he does it so fluently and so effortlessly. I think lying is his default position.

And what’s the alternative to the notion that Morrison is lying through his teeth?

That he’s very much a hands-off PM. He’s of the strictly need- to-unknow school of politics. He has actively created a culture where his people know to keep him in the dark and feed him bullshit. Let’s add “Mushroom” to his many nicknames.

Yet sometime in the next year, “Mushroom” is going to plead with the Australian people to support him in his quest to continue to lead the nation because he loves it so much and still has so much to offer. Unbelievable.

And don’t get me started on yesterday’s bizarre media call where he tried to feign empathy but then couldn’t help reverting to bullying type; deflecting and accusing others of wrongdoing to somehow make what’s been going on in his House less horrifying.

I don’t buy anything this prick says. He’s a mendacious, self-centred, self-pitying, blame-avoiding, work-shirking, gaslighting, flim-flam failed marketer and absolute arsehole of a faux-Christian who talks about his wife, two daughters and his widowed mother to evoke, possibly, some real emotion but designed overall to give the impression he cares about other Australian women.

What a transformation one little year brings. A year ago, Scott Morrison said he wanted women to advance as long as it wasn’t at the expense of men. Now he wants women to have “at least” the same opportunities as men in this country.

An oft-repeated refrain of mine: I honestly believe that the next rancid coil my darling little black dog squeezes out will have more empathy and more Christianity to it than Morrison possesses in his entire body, mind and soul. Too harsh?

And wishful thinking maybe but I’m starting to get a very strong and exceptionally pleasant feeling that the Liar from the Shire’s political career is disintegrating before our very eyes.

So can we all please strive to do everything we possibly can to help Scott Morrison spend more time with Jenny, his two daughters and his widowed mother – the women who are the very centre of his life and existence.

Don Gordon-Brown