PM sports a new image

FEDERAL POLITICS:

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has personally devised a new strategy to divert attention from the multiple negative issues currently engulfing his government.

A senior government insider said Mr Morrison had called on his own marketing expertise to shape the plan that will focus on recasting the PM’s image to make him appear more like the hugely popular former Labor Party prime minister Bob Hawke.

“The hope is that by essentially channelling Hawkie, Scott Morrison will build a solid following among the type of Aussies whose parents and even grandparents were solid Bob Hawke fans because of his knockabout, larrikin image,” the source said.

“The only possible downside is that Scott has called on his own marketing expertise to devise the plan.

“But it’s off to a promising start today with Scott embracing the latest America’s Cup win. (main picture)

“Admittedly the team New Zealand syndicate retained the cup by beating an Italian challenger in waters off Auckland, but Scott thinks most Aussies won’t notice.”

Mr Morrison this morning invited media representatives to his Parliament House office to witness boisterous celebrations of the America’s Cup victory.

At one stage, the PM was showered with beer by staffers and declared: “Any boss who sacks a worker for not turning up today …… will be completely protected from any repercussions under our planned amendments to IR laws,” Mr Morrison said.

The senior government source said Mr Morrison had built several options into his plan to remake his and his government’s image.

“If the sporting angle fails, Scott does have a fallback plan to paint himself as a ‘mad pants man’ like Hawkie who everyone knew would root two furry slippers if they were close enough together,” the source said.

“You’ll know that stage has kicked in when the PM starts roaming the corridors putting the hard word on women around Parliament House and passing loud remarks about their appearance and potential performance in bed.

“If things go really bad, the PM has a last-gasp idea to get the media to the Engadine Maccas where he plans to get legless and shit himself again,” the source said.