Former Queensland Premier, Peter Beattie, has put forward a range of suggestions for a mascot for the 2032 Olympic Games if the Brisbane-based bid is finally accepted by the IOC.
“I’m just a humble country boy from North Queensland but I’ve got a few ideas for Olympic mascots that just might work to help my self-prom… I mean, help promote the 2031 Games,” Mr Beattie said.
“Yeah, whatever,” he said when corrected on the year in which the Games would be held.
“My ideas are designed to promote Queensland as well as to save taxpayers money, and anyone who knows me knows I don’t like wasting money. Or even spending it. Especially my own. On anything. I mean, anything.
“So I’ve done a bit of judicious recycling including a reimagining of Matilda the Kangaroo who was the mascot for the 1972 Brisbane Commonwealth Games. (main picture)
“Yeah, whatever,” he said when advised that the Brisbane Commonwealth Games were held in 1982.
“It’s pretty much still Matilda but I’ve just tweaked the face a bit to give it a more contemporary look and feel and I’ve called it Petetilda.
“The same goes for my updating of the Borobi mascot that will be used at the 2022 Gold Coast Commonwealth Games. (pictured)
“I’ve christened this version Boribeattie which is an indigenous name meaning…. umm, something. I’m pretty sure,” he said.
“Really?” Mr Beattie said when advised that the Gold Coast had already hosted the Commonwealth Games in 2018 and that he had been chairman of the organising committee.
“My other option is to embrace a whole new mascot and I reckon nothing says Queensland like a cane toad. (pictured)
“I know as a former national president, or maybe secretary, of the Australian League of Buggery….. Ruggerby….. or whatever Union that the cane toad is a potent symbol of my home state’s sporting prowess.
“That’s especially true each year when those blokes travel all the way from the State of Oregon just to play a game, match, round… whatever, with the Queensland team.”
Mr Beattie said others would be best to judge just how much his undoubted organisational and management skills would be sadly missed if he were not given a leading and highly paid post in the 2032 Games organising hierarchy.