Boris ‘frightfully sorry’

UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson says he is “frightfully sorry” about the nation’s huge COVID-19 death toll.

Speaking at a media conference outside Number 10 Downing Street (main picture), Mr Johnson likened the pandemic to the Nazi threat during World War II.

He then broke into a song and dance routine featuring a medley of favourites made famous by wartime singer and “the Forces’ Sweetheart”, the late Dame Vera Lynn.

After concluding his performance, Mr Johnson made tortured efforts to liken the coronavirus to Adolf Hitler, while also adopting a mock German accent.

Removing his tin helmet and deliberately tousling his blond locks, the Prime Minister adopted a serious look and apologised for his government’s handling of the pandemic.

“Goodness me, I am frightfully sorry for the 100 deaths we have experience so far.”

An aide then approached and whispered to Mr Johnson who then said: “ Of course I meant 100,000 deaths.

“Sorry about that,” he added before re-tousling his hair, smiling widely, and performing a silent yet jaunty jig for the cameras.

“I say chaps – and of course chapettes – it’s all a bit of a wheeze, what?” he said at the end of his dance before immediately making a further apology for using the word “wheeze” in the context of the COVID-19 virus.

“I say, we’re in a bit of a pickle chaps, and chapettes,” he continued.

“If you’ll pardon my strong language, this virus has been jolly naughty.

“But every day I wake up and ask myself: ‘What would Nanny do?’

“I’m sure every other Briton asks themselves the same question. Or has one of their household staff ask it for them.”

In the face of a barrage of questions from reporters Mr Johnson said he could not stay to answer them, placed his tin hat on his head, then turned and took a circuitous route back inside 10 Downing Street while mimicking the famous walk by comedian John Cleese as Basil Fawlty in his “don’t mention the war” routine from the 1970s Fawlty Towers sitcom.