Lisa pardons the pun

TV NEWS PRESENTING:

A brave Lisa Millar has spoken openly about how she has learnt to cope with ABC News Breakfast co-host Michael Rowlands’ dreadful puns.

“I knew I had to do something during my holidays to react more professionally to his never-ending pun attempts or my career could be in jeopardy,” the bubbly and attractive TV personality told me in an exclusive interview after Monday’s taping of the show, the pair’s first day back together after their summer breaks.

“I was given a warning by management last year after lip-readers saw me mouth ‘Oh, for fuck’s sake!’ after a particularly bad run of corny puns from Michael,” Lisa explained.

“So during the hols, I thought I’d book some sessions with workplace performance coach Andrew May but I couldn’t afford them.

“So I got my nieces to read me book after book of the world’s worst puns and dad jokes and it took a while but I’ve trained myself to just sit there with an enigmatic smile on my face.

“Take yesterday, for example. Michael stated that Egyptian archaeologists thought they had discovered a massive ancient underground city but it turned out they were in denial.

“I know. I know! Cringy-worthy, right? And that’s one of the better ones he’s come up with.

“In the past I might have made a lunge at his throat or shouted out ‘I’ve got to get a pay rise to put up with this shit!’ but I was so proud of myself yesterday.

“It’s not just the puns that are so punishing, you know.

“There was a time when I just couldn’t bear sitting there watching him in a sort of post-pun euphoria and looking like the cat that got the cream.

“I deadset think at some times I can hear him purring inwardly and I’ve got to carry the show until he snaps out of it.”

Lisa also explained another tactic she now employs to negate the effect of Rowland’s awful puns.

“I just sit there thinking of the next excellent segue I’ll be using to ensure my career as a much-loved and highly respected television news presenter has some longevity about it.”