MARKETING:
The proposed change of name for Coon cheese may be delayed by a legal challenge. The Australian arm of Canadian dairy foods manufacturer Saputo Inc has announced its Coon cheese will now be marketed as Cheer cheese in response to a lengthy campaign by anti-racism campaigners. But Townsville man, Ralph Garnett (main picture), said he planned to challenge the company’s decision.
The Bug: Thanks for agreeing to this interview. Just how serious are you in your challenge?
RG: I’ll be going all the way to the High Court if needed to assert my right to indulge in casual racism.
The Bug: It’s sounds like it’s a very personal cause for you.
RG: Of course it is. I come from a long line of casual racists – indeed some professional ones too going way back. I’m prepared to stand up to this sort of political correctness gone mad.
The Bug: Don’t you think you’ll be labelled as a crackpot – someone who is just too far on the Right?
RG: Too right.
The Bug: You agree?
RG: Too right. But that doesn’t matter. I reckon these days you can’t be too Right. Right?
The Bug: But is there such a right?
RG: Again, too right there’s a right and those of us on the Right are right to assert it. Write that down. Right?
The Bug: Write. I mean, right. But how does that so-called right work?
RG: The existence of Coon cheese gave me virtually my last remaining opportunity to use the word in conversation and in public. Apart from when I went to my One Nation meetings of course.
The Bug: Of course.
RG: At gatherings of family and friends I was able to get away with murder, so to speak, by offering around a cheese platter and asking guests if they liked Coon.
The Bug: How did that go down?
RG: Actually it always failed to get a laugh for some reason, especially from my neighbours the Blacks.
The Bug: That’s Blacks with a capital A?
RG: No.
The Bug: I’ll fix that later before publication if I remember.
RG: OKKK.
The Bug: I’ll take out those extra Ks too before publication.
RG: What extra Ks?