Anyone else heartily sick of the anti-Rupert Murdoch bile spewing from the lips of God’s Gift to 21st Century Australian politics?
Sorry. I refer of course to Mr Harbourside Mansion.
With me yet? No? Sorry.
Then how about Malcolm Turnbull? You all know the guy. The bloke with an ego the size of Uluru who still thinks deep down he should still be the prime minister, easily winning any election he deigned to call up to and probably well beyond his death.
That’s how God’s Gift to 21stC Australian Politics thinks. And always will.
Ordinarily, I’ve got nothing against anti-Murdoch bile spewing forth. May buckets be filled with it because I detest the mongrel. But from Malcolm Turnbull?
The silver-tongued, silver-spooned devil was on 7.30 last night, having joined that other former PM Kevin Rudd’s bandwagon in calling for a royal commission into the Dirty Digger’s News Corpse Australian media empire.
Here’s my problem with Turnbull’s stance. It reeks of hypocrisy and rank revisionism.
Clearly, he hates how News Corpse turned on him towards the end of his prime blundership but that enormous ego will never allow the great man to accept that he only won his one election as PM through Murdoch’s support.
While I’ll never, ever, overegg News Corpse’s ability to sway public opinion – for proof of that, look no further than The Courier-Mail’s three abject failures in a row to prevent a Queensland Labor win – but sadly it is safe to say that Turnbull in 2016 would not have limped to a one-seat win without the slavish, lavish, loyal support of Rupe’s rotten rags.
When Rudd and Julia Gillard and their respective backers and plotters gifted the Liberals the 2013 election and gave Oz Tony Abbott as PM – thanks Kevin, Jules, and co! You’re all peaches! – I reckoned Labor deserved two terms in opposition.
The idiocy of Abbott and woeful economic management and non-existent people-management skills from his replacement in Turnbull changed my mind.
And if News Corpse which dominates the nation’s print-media landscape had thrashed Turnbull’s economic record with even half the vigour it applied to the Rudd/Gillard/Rudd governments, Turnbull would have – should have – been toast.
He ran a shit campaign and on the hustings he proved an absolute flop of a fop. It turned out the man-for-all-reasons had the charisma of a squashed canetoad on a norf Queensland laneway. Ay?
His discomfort when forced to mix with the hoi polloi was palpable. You could almost sense his despair as he longed for a boardroom or private bar where, swirling a balloon of the finest of cognacs, he could hold court as sycophantic barristers, bankers and assorted wankers sat in thrall of his genius.
Luckily Turnbull’s ego will never allow the following observation to put the slightest of dents in his self-belief, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man who looked and, mostly, sounded prime ministerial yet lacked the basic skills needed to do the job.
Turnbull can be angry with Murdoch for turning against him but he had no-one else to blame but himself for losing so many Newspolls in a row – going well beyond his own benchmark for non-success – and proving in the end he was a man of straw on climate change policy, ditching even his flawed National Energy Guarantee policy at the bitter end, not game to stare down his talentless doubters and finally proving he really stood for nothing much at all.
A man who turned out to be much more flair than style or class.
And instead of spewing forth against Murdoch, God’s Gift to 21st Century Australian Politics should, for the first time in his life, swallow some humble pie and thank that dreadful media mongrel for helping him to one undeserved election win and letting him remain as prime minister for a little longer than his talents deserved.