It’s time for one of those uncannily inaccurate election-day predictions from arguably Australia’s most disrespected amateur psephologist.
That’s me, by the way. My increasingly large gut feeling is that today’s Queensland poll will see Labor returned with a small majority and around 49 seats overall.
That large wobbly gut tells me Labor has come home this week with a wet sail. Couple that with my general belief that voters always opt for stability in troubled times, I’m predicting the Polish Princess won’t even have to wait some days like last time to see that overall majority secured.
Which, quite frankly, leaves me filled with both joy and dread.
Don’t get me wrong. My heart wants a solid Labor win. I want Queenslanders today to tell Rupert Murdoch to get the fuck out of Australian affairs and stay the fuck out of Australian affairs.
I want the editors of his two Brisbane monopolies – The Courier-Mail and The Sunday Mail – sacked and made to piss off to wherever they came from.
I want to hear reports of Des Houghton and Peter Gleeson both sobbing freely in their anger and their pain and hugging each other partly in commiseration as they drown their sorrows at the Jube.
I want Annastacia Palaszczuk to grow some and not spend one red cent with News Queensland over the next four years.
I want her to develop an app that makes sure that any correspondence, any application, any request, to any government department that includes the words “Palmer”, “Mineraology” “Waratah” or “coal” is sent immediately to a piddling, undermanned, sub-committee that has an assessment period of at least six years.
So why should I dread such an outcome?
The macaevillian part of what’s left of my brain tells me a minority LNP government, propped up by even righter-wing nutters, would also have tangible advantages.
Labor won’t send Smoko/Smirko/Scum-Mo packing unless it picks up seats in Queensland so come the next federal election, I’d much rather have a muddling LNP state government of very average people in charge than a third-term Labor mob that could easily sour just as quickly in the public mind.
If my prediction above proves wrong – and history is on the side of that happening – this amateur psephologist might very well be secretly pleased.