Can anything save this G-G?


Serious moves are under way deep inside Buckingham Palace to try to help Australian Governor-General David Hurley like his fellow citizens just a little bit more.

“Or should that be ‘dislike his fellow Australians just a little bit less,” one of my more reliable sources within Queen Elizabeth’s court whispered to me rather bitchily overnight.

I’m reliably told Her Majesty, as Australia’s much loved Head of State, is troubled by growing social media chatter that General Hurley is not exactly setting the world on fire Down Under through any sense of a warm and embracing persona or any real desire to connect generally with her subjects.

In fact, one courtier claims Her Majesty described the G-G as “coming across to One as somewhat of a cold fish”, a telling comment given her love of horses.

“One doesn’t expect him to become a party animal (pictured above) overnight like One’s Andrew but heavens to Me-sy he really does need to lighten up and realise his job is much more than just signing legislation into law for One.

“He’s there to connect directly with One’s subjects, to congratulate them on things well done in good times and to commiserate with them – be a symbolic shoulder to lean on, if One likes – when times are bad.”

The Queen has been kept up to date with General Hurley’s performance since beginning his duties as her vice-regal representative in July 2019 and is acutely aware of general media chatter that he basically went missing during the black summer bushfires some months ago and again now during the COVID-19 pandemic.

A friend of General Hurley’s told me: “David’s really quite a shy person. He can mix with others but prefers to do it in formal settings such as a military parade ground where he can get an RSM to order them into formation and then march past in review order, from the centre, so they can salute him.

“In fact, one of his rare appearances in public was just recently when he was spied in a car park behind the Australian War Memorial putting some the war museum’s cleaning staff through some basic drills using mops as rifles.”

I’m reliably told that one extreme suggestion from royal surgeons has been to inject the DNA of two of Australia’s most-loved governors-general Sir William Deane, 89, and Quentin Bryce, 77, into General Hurley’s spine to make the 67-year-old a more pleasant, much more rounded individual who would actually want to get out and about and meet people.

My spies tell me this option is still being given serious consideration.