Do you think knowing Don Bradman’s Test batting average of 99.94 makes you a better Australian citizen than anyone else?
Or that knowing the year those three chaps found a way up the Blue bloody mountains makes you true-blue?
Of course they don’t. And that’s why The Bug welcolmed the new Australian citizenship written test that has thrown questions of historical fact out the door and replaced them with ones that test a potential Aussie’s sense of fairness and decency instead.
The Bug has been fortunate enough to have acquired a set of the new questions – there are 20 in all and they are all multiple choice – but we have selected just six to set you a challenge!
You might know how many league grand finals the Penrith Panthers have won, or where the Australian tennis Open is played, or who is our current head of state or why Peter FitzSimons wears that stupid fucking red bandana all the time, but are you game to test your potential to be simply a decent, honest Australian who gets on with everyone?
Cross the box that you think correctly answers each question asked, and tally up your score at the end. Good luck!
And here are the answers!
Question 4: B – three points
Question 7: All are correct so 3 points for each
Question 9: D – three points
Question 12: A – three points
Question 15: D – three points.
Question 18: All are correct so three points each but D is worth double.
So, how did you go?
Maximum 40 points: Gidday, cobber! Welcome to the you-beaut best fucking place in the world. You can download a Liberal Party membership form from their website.
21 to 36 points: Shit, mate, you’ve just scraped in but watch yourself. okay. You’re on probation.
0 to 20 points: You did know Australia’s got nine of the world’s 10 most poisonous snakes, not to mention carnivorous drop bears and at the moment almost daily fatal shark attacks? So in some ways it’s probably for the best and lucky for you too that you’ll soon be deported back to whatever festering shithole you escaped from. You did know Don Bradman was a cricketer, right?