Papering over all logic

With the official start of the 2020 Queensland state election now only weeks away, The Bug is proud to announce the first of a regular series of interviews with The Courier-Mail’s editor Chris Jones as the Brisbane tabloid hopes to shape public opinion leading up to election day on October 31.

The Bug: Thanks for your time this morning and can we start with your splash heading today: PREMIER’S POLL DANCE.

Chris Jones: Yes. Thanks. Much appreciated. It’s a beauty, isn’t it?

The Bug: What the hell does it mean?

Jones: It’s a simple play on words. Poll and Pole.

The Bug: Yes, we get that. But what the hell does it mean?

Jones: Just a bit of fun really.

The Bug: We’re starting to sound too much like a skit from Mad As Hell so let’s move on. Your jockey line: Election ’20: Moment which really exposes border hypocrisy….

Jones: Jockey line… is that what those things are called? Cute.

The Bug: Can you explain how two fuckwit Richmond players out of quarantine but still bound by strict COVID-19 rules break those rules by getting pissed in a titty bar and are then arrested for fighting somehow exposes hypocrisy on the Premier’s part. They’ve been sent home, haven’t they?

Jones: Well, it was hypocritical of her to allow them to do that while decent Queenslanders are suffering enormous hardships at the border.

The Bug: Your story says their actions added to growing controversy over the Palaszczuk Government’s special treatment for the AFL. That really doesn’t make any sense at all, you know, if you look at the facts. You do know that those three planeloads of AFL officials and their families who are now in two-weeks isolation booked out that Gold Coast resort, are paying all expenses and are obeying strict COVID-19 industry quarantine rules and are being tested regularly, just like many other sporting groups that have moved to Queensland have done?

Jones: Why do you people at The Bug seem hellbent on letting a really good story be spoilt…

The Bug: By the facts?

Jones: Exactly. Didn’t you see the vision of them splashing around the pool? Terrible optics for the government!

The Bug: Even if what they were doing was perfectly reasonable under the industry COVID-19 standards of social distancing and the like?

Jones: Once again, why on earth are you people hellbent on spoiling a good story….

The Bug: With the facts?

Jones: Exactly. Anyway, it’s just a harmless piece of fun.

The Bug: You would be aware that the Queensland LNP are pushing two main themes in trying to undermine Palaszczuk: that she’s an arrogant hypocrite and is heartless and uncaring when it comes to the problems that her strict border closure with NSW invariably bring?

Jones: Are they? I didn’t know that.

The Bug: How come The Courier-Mail is not at all interested in praising the Queensland Government for being in a position, through those tough border closures and low coronavirus numbers, to be hub for a number of sports, including the AFL, the rugby union, the rugby league and the national netball competition?

Jones: Once again, why do you people letting a really good story be spoilt…

The Bug: By the facts?

Jones: Exactly. You take all the fun out of reporting election campaigns, you really do.

The Bug: Do you give us a rock solid guarantee that your front-page treatment today would have been exactly the same if the LNP were in government and Deb Frecklington was facing re-election as Premier?

Jones: Is that the time? Sorry, we’re going to have to wrap this up now. I’ve got some future front-page splashes to check down at the artroom.

POSTCRIPT: The Bug fixed the Courier’s splash and sent it to Chris…..