Stoic Abbott ready to say goodbye


LONDON: Former Prime Minister Tony Abbott has reacted stoically to news that his 87-year-old mother Fay has contracted COVID-19 with a firm “mother is now in God’s hands and all we can do is wait to see what plans He has for her”.

Mr Abbott has bravely resisted the understandable urge to rush home and will stay in the UK capital and continue the interview process with the United Kingdom’s Department of Trade for a much publicised job as a post-Brexit UK trade envoy.

The Bug understands Mr Abbott as a former national leader has rejected current PM Scott Morrison’s offer of a RAAF VIP jet flight back to Australia to be with his mother who is in an aged-care facility in his former electorate of Warringah

And that all three of his adult daughters are very angry with his decision not to use his immense wealth as a federal politician for just on three decades to rush his mother to the finest of private hospitals capable of providing the best medical care possible to give her every chance of beating the deadly virus.

“Mr Abbott appreciates that his mum is well past the biblical three score and 10 years and has had a good run,” a spokesperson told The Bug.

“He is also adamant that he will never be seen to be party to some form of health dictatorship.

“Nor will he accept any special treatment,” a spokesperson said. “Besides, who does he think he is? AFL officialdom?

“He is confident that his daughters will come around to seeing merit in letting nature take its course with Nan.”

The Bug understands part of Mr Abbott’s reasoning for staying put in London, the city of his birth, is that the aged-care facility caring for Mrs Abbott is in complete lockdown anyway.

“He is looking forward to using Zoom with his family to watch his beloved mum, Margie’s mother-in-law and their grandmother pass naturally into God’s blessed and eternal embrace.

“And he also wants everyone to always remember and appreciate as this very natural and humbling process unfolds that in life – in everyone’s life – shit happens.”