Try to reach paradise at your peril!

COVID-19 CARNAGE:

Queensland police will shoot on sight any New South Wales travellers who foolishly disguise themselves as Bananabenders and attempt to cross the border at Tweed Heads from 1am tomorrow, Saturday.

And Premier Anna Palaszczuk has angrily refuted claims the extreme new measure was motivated solely by her desire to show how tough she is in the lead-up to the state election on October 31.

“Absolute rubbish,” she said, coming out punching at a pre-dawn media call outside Parliament House in Brisbane today (pictured).

“My only motivation is to keep my fellow Queenslanders safe and sound.

“Cockroachers won’t just be turned around; they will be terminated!

“Aah, aah, aah….I will decide who doesn’t come to Queensland and the manner in which they end up in body bags.”

“So don’t even try it,” Ms Palaszczuk warned. “Our police are highly trained to detect fake Queensland number plates, brand-new Broncos or Cowboys stickers on windshields – that’s always a dead giveaway if you’ll pardon the pun – and drivers who respond to questions in a slow, dim-witted, poorly educated way. and finish every sentence with a long drawn-out A.”

Queensland Opposition leader Deb Frecklington immediately branded the Premier as weak and ineffective.

“It’s always too little, too late with this catch-up’ Premier,” she said.

“I have been calling on not just New South Wales motorists but all southerners to be shot at the border for many months now,” Ms Frecklington said, looking very pretty in a line-green business suit with maroon scarf and matching dark-brown pumps.

“I’ve made that call 65 times, and all of them have made the front-page splash on the next day’s edition of The Courier-Mail,” she concluded as the photographer from that paper got her to do one more twirl.