Composer strikes brown gold

buddy tEfforts by Brisbane composer Vince Agarol to bring to the stage his original musical based on the city’s notorious “Poo Jogger” whose dump-and-run tactics terrorised inner southern suburbs a few years ago have taken an unexpected turn.

Mr Agarol (pictured below) said the development of new technology essential for his rock opera’s production had spawned a surprising spin-off.

“I am a stickler for authenticity in everything I do,” he explained. “So while planning for rehearsals of Poo Jogger — The Musical I insisted on using real faeces in all relevant scenes.

“This sounds straightforward enough, doesn’t it? But you’d be surprised at the red tape — or brown tape as I call it — that I had to wrestle just to get a few steaming turds on stage for critical scenes.

1vinceagarol“I discovered that I needed to ensure that each actor’s excrement did not mix with that of others because in this pandemic age the prevention of cross-contamination is taken very seriously.

“This posed a real challenge, especially in the chorus scenes, so I set about trying to find a system to ensure we complied with all regulations, otherwise audiences here and around the world might be denied the chance to see my work.

“After weeks of trial and error I finally had a breakthrough and my system is now up and running and may find a far wider market than just my musical.”

Mr Agarol refused to disclose details of what he claimed was the unique equipment he had developed.

“What I can say is that it uses a hand-held scanner employing a variant of what is now fairly widespread facial recognition technology,” he said.

“But my faecal recognition system (main picture) goes one step further and can identify the person responsible for any type of excrement, from hard marble-size bullets, through to a chocolate Mr Whippy, and even a brown Windsor soup with carrot chunks.”pj cover

Mr Agarol, who for the past two years has been seeking finance for his musical by hawking a prospectus to potential investors (pictured) both here and overseas, said his new device could have widespread repercussions for law enforcement.

“It’s a huge leap forward and not only means the curtain is now closer to going up on my musical, but police and health authorities may well be able to solve any future incidents involving a Poo Jogger very rapidly,” he said.